post surgery

I am praying for gods guidance in writing this post BECAUSE of the unimaginal pain this has been going  through my body...  I will be real in saying I have questioned   why me ?????????(never once did i question before surgery 

not only a rare form of cancer but a very low survivial rate and toppled with unbelievble pain that a million drs could not educate or prepare you for the pain physically and emotionally .......I cannot even wrap around myBrain people having this surgery with no family member staying overnight for the firts 10 days ....the magnitudee of pain is beyond anything ever including birthing,hysterecromy sober,divorce,losing my bestfriend (mom) etc...........I am launching my ownwebsite andI this Blog will be a huge part to be an advocate for this surgery

my brother Brad 💖never left my side 24/7 and worked his full time job too.  i could not talk because of the pain,  BUT him beeng there was beyond anything iwill never forget.  he got a sinus infection while there beacause he was doing both ends for 15 days because he would not leave my side    during those 15 days I had 4 operation typer surgeries         2 deathly and 2 serious.......the expectation at the beginning wre 7 t0 10 days in hospital      due to complications 2 more weeks have been added.     I made Brad go home yesterday because he has a life he stoppe for me for 15 days....I had to let everyone know it is sad to not have someone with you the firtst 10 days ....i am crying now even after 23 days here thinking of the upmost fear a patient endures without someone there for you.   human to human contact there is no better wat to hlp endure this tremedous pain ........Thank you Brad I love you Bunches......I am up enough to give updates when i can    i am on my own.       my son has been here when he can and Bruce too...   there is not possible way without all your prayers iwould have made through one minute.   i am beyond blessed 

The first and most painfail Esophagus surgery went well until my spleen erupted and that pain toppled any pain .....then after that my blood pressure plummeted..in the area wheret you die...thatwas 7 hours of NO PAIN meds ......................I honestly could not think, blink,breathe everything hurt and no relief....

today is Jan 11 and i have not slept change of meds again...... had a crying episode and will see a councler soon.......keep the prayer coming we are hopfully I will be out by end of mnth           the love is felt   thank you 

i have begged and begged for GODS Armour to wrap me tight AND EVERY SINGLE CANCER PATIENT SUFFERING RIGHT NOW.  

I AM LAYING HERE AT 3PM CRYING FOR THOSE I HAD NO ONE THE FIRST 14 DAYS     EVERDAY IT CHANGES WITH MY CANCER,   BRUCE 😘OPENED HIS DOORS FOR (SO GRATFUL) BUT HAVE NOT BEEN USED FOR ALL THE COMPLICATIONS

HERE ARE SOME PICS AND THE WHYS 

SO MANY MORE PICS WAS JUST UPDATING FOR NOW AND THANKING GOR THE PRAYERS    ALL MY FAMILY MEMBERS WHOHAVE PICS JUST COMMENT ON HERE AND SHOW THEM.  THANK YOUGOD FOR LOVING ME